Courting inspiration

 

I'm currently in the midst of rearranging, realigning, and reprioritising.

Work, paintings, furniture, the closet, the toiletry cabinet, l i f e. I'm sooo close to organising all my camera’s photos from my recent trip to the US and I always stop mid-way. Thank god I've exported most but I can’t seem to get the other chores from my list done before I need to move on to the next pile of stuff to do. Clothes are piling up on my couch. There are too many empty bottles in the kitchen. I’ve run out of toilet paper. I can barely keep my head above water here.

And then, there's this blog.

It's been four years since I last added to it, and if I'm gonna be honest, I only thought to bring this back because I felt bad I was paying for a domain I barely even use.

 

Do people still blog?

Probably not. The way people consume media has changed drastically since the age of LiveJournal, Wordpress, and Tumblr. I even forgot about the RSS reader I used to scroll over on a regular basis. But long gone are the days of the 'blogpost.' Not actually sure why I opened my blog up again. Maybe a part of me is somehow desperate for inspiration; to maybe find the lost fervour I once had for painting. I used to finish piece after piece in a matter of days, and wrap-up two gargantuan works in a month. Now, I can barely finish ONE painting. It would come to a point where I would have to force myself to paint on some days. But I never end up with finished work. I'd either stop half-way, or suddenly decide I hate everything about my work and start maniacally painting over everything, then regretting doing so the morning after like a cliché one-night stand.

 

So, I figured I could start with my workplace.

Alright, my studio has never looked... tidy lol and it always takes me hours to rummage through my box of paints and organise a palette when I start work. I'm pretty notorious for procrastinating and I have to admit that staring into the mess I've made, while I'm taking a break from painting, actually discourages me to finish work. So, yes, therein lies my problem. I'm too. damn. messy. The changes I ought to make should hopefully get rid of that and my mind would probably cease to be messy if my studio (and apartment) isn't.

 

Here's the quote that shook me to my core and blatantly pointed out how incompetent I am as a creative professional lol it's amazing how a stranger's words can sum things up to a damn tee; I honestly felt personally attacked just shy off the first few pages haha 

 

When I lived in the back of my Chevy van, I had to dig my typewriter out from beneath layers of tire tools, dirty laundry, and moldering paperbacks. My truck was a nest, a hive, a hellhole on wheels whose sleeping surface I had to clear each night just to carve out a foxhole to snooze in.
The professional cannot live like that. He is on a mission. He will not tolerate disorder. He eliminates chaos from his world in order to banish it from his mind. He wants the carpet vacuumed and the threshold swept, so the Muse may enter and not soil her gown.
— Pressfield, Steven. (2002). The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle.

Easier said than done, Steven. I have been holding off fixing the heaping mess of a shithole that is my life, but organising my workplace does sound like a good place to start. I've started making changes, albeit very small. But hey, I really hope they bleed into all the other aspects of my life, and maybe, just maybe, help me lead my lazy ass out of this creative rut I've been in for the past few years.

 

The War of Art is a pretty interesting read, but I've yet to finish it and tell you all about it– and if it really does help wriggle one's way out the staunch grip of a creative rut, or as Pressfield poetically calls it: the Resistance.

I'll be back with a lengthy post filled with photos from my last trip to California soon~

 In the meantime, don't be a lazy-ass like me and go back to finishing whatever it was you were supposed to be doing before you clicked this blogpost!